The Good Life

Caroline and I enjoy a bit of TV — or at least, we try. With so many channels these days, audience share is fragmented; quality suffers. The new wildlife documentaries seem to be more about the daredevil production crew than the animals; history programs are more re-enactment dramas than historical fact … and then there are the sitcoms and crime shows. Gore is cool; so is cynicism; there’s even a new twist on that old staple, sex — the new normal is to have lots of sex with lots of people in lots of places, especially at work, especially if you’re a lawyer or doctor. Everyone knows that long-term monogamous relationships are doomed; ‘love’ is whatever you can grab from those heady first days and (if you’re lucky) weeks of newfound passion.

And then there’s me, sitting quietly, reading about Aristotle and ‘the good life.’ No, he wasn’t talking about la dolce vita but about a life worth living — an enriching, satisfying path to dignity and integrity. Gosh, just using words like that makes me feel like a dinosaur. But then I remind myself, I’m not suddenly losing touch — I always was old-fashioned. I was skeptical as a teenager, and I’m still skeptical about those things that strike me as contemptible — mindless popular trends and the age-old myths of progress and success.

Progress? It’s mostly technology; what’s it accomplished? Our ability to stress ourselves beyond reason, for one. It’s also morphed war into the new form of world-wide terrorism — no distinction between combatants and civilians, no front lines, no end in sight.

Success? We have more millionaires than ever, but do we have happier people? MSN News reports that 55% of Americans under 45 hate their jobs; where’s the success in that? And with all that short-term sex, who still experiences the exquisite rewards of well-worn intimacy and deep companionship?

The Good Life meant something quite different to Aristotle. Unfortunately, my college professors left me thinking that philosophers had too much time on their hands and a genetic predisposition to long-windedness. Now at last, a whole new generation of Western philosophers is revisiting that dreary approach to the Classics. It turns out that those dead old Greeks weren’t just trying to be clever; they were working with their thoughts and feelings to become less reactive, more in tune. They were in search of mental and emotional wellbeing — which is why I can relate to them; that’s why I abandoned everything and went off to India.

What Aristotle called ‘the good life,’ the Buddha called ‘awakening.’ It just goes to show that people are people, no matter which corner of the planet they come from. Both these men recognized stress as a response to life and tried to find a way to change that response. Did either of them succeed? That’s for you to figure out.

What so many of us can’t stomach any more is the way religions have hijacked ethics and turned them into totalitarian rules to be believed whether you understand or not. There’s more to ethics than thou shalt not. Ethics are a skill that grows from self-discipline — something profoundly out of sync with today’s do-what-feels-good attitude.

I’ve always thought of myself as an arch-rebel, but when I look back on what I was rebelling against, I see that it was and is against a society in moral decline. Who cares for the values of fuddy-duddy, finger-wagging old school marms? We want leaders who respect our opinions, and teachers who encourage exploration and curiosity. But look at these questions that, incredibly, only philosophers care to ask: Why is it wrong to harm others? What’s wrong with having as much sex as possible with as many people as you can? What are the consequences of hiring strangers to raise our children and care for our aged parents? Does guilt cause disease?

Today’s a sunny fall Sunday and I sit inside my house, unable to enjoy my garden because my neighbours are filling the neighbourhood with noise and air pollution from leaf-blowers, pneumatic log-splitters and powerful garden vacuums that suck up bugs and dirt along with fallen leaves and grass cuttings. When I ask them to take a break, they insist they have to do this on weekends, that their machines are really quiet and that they don’t really cause any air pollution. They seem to think they’re fooling me. What are the consequence of such absurd denial? How does it affect their own well-being, never mind my own?

These aren’t trivial questions, even though the circumstances may be. By seeking to answer them in ways we can understand, we approach the good life. Life is never free of irritation, even tragedy, but by understanding the way we deal with it, we can change our experience. People have been trying to improve the world for centuries by making money and enacting laws; true, the richer nations have made advances in civil rights, but only because people fought for them; who’s fighting for the good life? It’s about personal self-discipline, not the law; it’s not the struggle to work harder and make more stuff, but the dignity to stop this infernal vicious circle, take a breath, look at those around you and enjoy — and share — the fruits of a life well-spent.

Author: Stephen Schettini

Host of The Naked Monk

7 thoughts on “The Good Life”

  1. Hi Stephen,
    Your letter certainly resonates with me and my life circumstances. You put words to how I have been feeling but would not have been able to express so clearly and articulately. Thank you. I will think about this and hopefully get myself on a track that is more in keeping with what is ‘the right thing for me to do’. I have not been ‘bad’ or ‘immoral’ just so influenced by what is publically available that you wonder – it it them or me? If we all want what is bascially good for each other, why do we hear so much about how to be selfish? Anyway, thank you for making me think about my life in a different way. – Dorothy

    1. Thank you Dorothy; you’ve validated my work. I don’t have much to offer than everyone doesn’t already know. What I do is more about articulating those things that everyone else avoids. How hard is it to believe that, when everyone else is thinking one way, our opposite way might be right? You can’t trust the masses; you have to use your wits.

  2. I have always felt this way and I thank you for being able to put it into words that I wouldn’t be able to. Personally I feel somewhat safe because I feel somewhat aware but I despair for my children who may not be able to withstand the pressures and fast pace of today’s world. See you soon. Gordon Lusk

    1. It won’t be easy, but I wouldn’t despair for them Gordon. Imagine how our parents felt about our chances, with nuclear armageddon just minutes away. Our children aren’t inheriting a perfect world any more than we were, but we managed; so will they. Mindfulness might be tough for them, but those who recognize the extent of their mental fragmentation will be highly motivated — I hope!

  3. Hi Stephen. You mention you don’t think you much more to offer than we already know. Well, you have a great way of choosing and expressing your thoughts. Oh yes, I agree with you on the topic of leaf-blowers: They are the top of my list of ridiculous inventions-they are actually forbidden in some municipalities. I had an apartment next to the Chateau Pierrefonds and the maintenance guy was even using his leaf-blower in the winter. Thanks again for sharing your wit, and say Hi to Caroline for me. —Micheline

  4. Good Morning Stephen: Late in reading the above Blog, but, having always intended to get back to it….I did just that this morning.

    In reading the responses of Dorothy, others and your replies I once again find the above text clearly expresses my own sentiments.

    While I am no longer working, I too can relate to not only being stressed but to also creating more stress for myself by my negative thinking. Is my stress also caused by this whirl wind society we live in….perhaps. It would appear to me that ‘simplicity’ lends to less stress … a calmer state of being. Isn’t simplicity a question of how one chooses to live ones life?

    You words “who still experiences the exquisite rewards of well worn intimacy and deep companionship,” struck a chord with me. I too, being what one would call old-fashioned, have always firmly believed this is what having a relationship with a partner is all about. I just never found the appropriate words to express my feelings.

    1. Stress seems to come from outside because outside events trigger it; and because, as you say, simplifying your lifestyle results in less stress. However, the stress itself is a reaction to events — a product of our own minds, just waiting to be triggered. The purpose of mindful reflection is to get in touch with this mechanism and turn it off. It’s not easy, but isn’t a life spent trying to do that more worthwhile than one in which we just keep throwing up our arms in defeat?

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